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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28496775">Everybody Wants To Rule The World</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aoibhealfae/pseuds/Khamseen'>Khamseen (aoibhealfae)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Afterlife, Arasaka Tower, Blackwall - Freeform, Corpo V, Embers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Grief, HEA, Original Content - Freeform, POV First Person, POV Third Person, The net, secret ending spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:27:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28496775</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aoibhealfae/pseuds/Khamseen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for Post-Nocturne Op55N1 and onward.</p><p>V, a former Arasaka counterintelligence operative turned mercenary, knew every day that her life is hanging by a thread. The only thing left to do was to meet with the Arasaka heiress, Hanako Arasaka, for a risky deal. Inside her unraveled mind was the handsome and dangerous Johnny Silverhand. A former rockstar and branded terrorist. Someone who had unintentionally invaded her mind and body through a faulty biochip called The Relic. Someone who was only corporeal to her. Someone she shared a very complicated relationship with.</p><p>Johnny Silverhand had lived a life in a series of complicated mess. He had ruined others unintentionally but more often than not, by his own making. As a living ghost, he discovered himself confronted with conflicting emotions to the only one person who he can truly be his true self. He had failed so many people before in his life. He would be forever damned if he let it happen to her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female V/Johnny Silverhand, Female V/River Ward</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Everybody Wants To Rule The World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My writing playlist:</p><p>Never Fade Away (Lofi Remix)<br/>https://youtu.be/yvnApk-7okg</p><p>Chopin - Nocturne Op.55 No.1<br/>https://youtu.be/e3yrEEM5j_s</p><p>Samurai (Refused) - Never Fade Away<br/>https://youtu.be/AN1RJF55NXI</p><p>Johnny Silverhand's theme (Electric Cello, Tina Guo)<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDnEEya78SA</p><p>HIM - (Don't Fear) The Reaper<br/>https://youtu.be/jvxRTs9bVoo</p><p>P. T. Adamczyk &amp; Olga Jankowska - Never Fade Away<br/>https://youtu.be/P4bKZT_Eg4A</p><p>Ciara - Paint It, Black<br/>https://youtu.be/RYPWxymohWs</p><p>Lorde - Everybody Wants To Rule The World<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlm4QqNAPiE</p><p>Ramin Djawadi - Wicked Games<br/>https://youtu.be/8zFvGxiYwoc</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Megabuilding H10,</p><p>V's apartment, </p><p>I stayed in the shower far too long. Tthe hot water runs cold and triggered the building’s automated water rationing. The day would soon turn to night. I made the appointment. Let's not keep the precious Arasaka jewel waiting. It was time. </p><p>I towel dry myself and reached for my underwear. I went out of the box and pulled out my grooming tools. I turned on the mirror display. The face that greet me was Johnny Silverhand.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“What the fuck?”</p><p>Nausea build inside me as the world broke into binaries pieces. I moved my head left and right, and so did he. I touched my face and so did he. It was not Johnny; it was me. The fate that awaited me. Soon my body will no longer be mine.</p><p>It hurt every time I reminded myself of that fact. I am beginning to lose grip on the reality but I will fix this. I have to. I moved back until the display went dark and lit it up again. I am myself.<br/><br/>My dark roots are starting to show. No time to fix that. I reached for the tools to dry my hair and then analyze my facial features for imperfections. Dark circles. Blemishes. Uneven tone. I need to look perfect. I grabbed the concealer and began to tap the dark circles away. Soon I began to lose myself in the beauty ritual. Almost like donning an old armor piece by piece. <br/><br/>Half an hour later, I unzipped a plastic sheath and a mild smell of roses perfumed the air. Dark red satin framed around a bed of white roses in a dark background. The fabric felt soft and velvety under my fingers. The expensive dress looked luxurious. Out of place and costed a lot of pretty eddies. It felt strange against my skin.<br/><br/>When I look myself again in the mirror, I feel like I want to weep.<br/><br/>No longer the person who spend months reinventing herself and learning how to live free. I am wearing my old self again. The one I left behind in what felt like forever. I didn't realize how much I missed her. How much I hate her.</p><p>Even then I used to look at myself and hate what I saw. A plastic person who once lived through an artificial life with meaningless purpose. Now I see a woman with years of pent-up rage that was overflowing.</p><p>I know better now. I tasted what life has can offer. I see what they had done to me. Used and abused. Groomed and tweaked. Until there was nothing but a hollow shell filled with emptiness and numbness. Exploited by those who care nothing else but their own selfish ambitions.<br/><br/>But I am not that naive. I am not a victim and I am just as complicit in all of this. I am a survivor living in Night City. I have blood in my hands. I have ruthlessly ruined lives as the person I was and as the person I am now. I made choices that I have to live with it. </p><p>What is wrong with this world? Why can't it be better?</p><p>
  
</p><p>The smell of cigarette smoke seeped into the bathroom.</p><p>It was all in my head, of course. Johnny's nervous gesture. Of course, he would sense the growing restlessness inside me and reacted to it. At least, there was the two of them in this ungodly mess.</p><p>Johnny Silverhand stood near the window. Pacing in circles. Surrounded by a cloud of smoke. He looked real among the background of Night City. I could feel his presence like he was there in flesh and blood. </p><p>Johnny looked like he was about to speak when he turned around. His eyes fell on me. I had seen him look at me in every possible way a man would look at a woman. Yet, it was the first time I saw him struck speechless. It was so stark like he never saw me before.</p><p>The silence stretched. I started to feel uncomfortable.</p><p>"I'm a Corpo bitch. Remember?"</p><p>Johnny looked as if he had been punched. Of course, other than the fragmented memories we shared, he never truly see this side of who I was before. How could he? He only know me for a short while. </p><p>It was the sad irony. Standing in front of him, properly dressed and looking like one of them. Yes, I represented everything he hated like so many people in this city. Shiny plastic people who would do anything to retain every ounce of privilege. We all know it would never last forever. I am the casualty of that.</p><p>“You look beautiful, V.”</p><p>I eyed him suspiciously and waited for the rest of his usual snark. He simply stared. Not awkward at all.</p><p>Then I reached up to a compartment overhead and pulled out a shoebox. The only thing I could salvage from my past life as I had sent it to a specialist before my excision from Arasaka. My favorite formal working heels. They fit comfortably and probably the most sturdiest pair of red shoes to withstand an apocalypse.  They felt strange around my feet.</p><p>Have I changed enough that my own belongings felt wrong to me?</p><p>I went to pick up my weapon of choice. It was heavier that what I usually like. Strangely the grip felt comfortable as if it was made for me. No, that was not right. Malorian Arms 3516; custom-made for one Johnny Silverhand. Everything that was once his always felt familiar to my touch. Like a muscle memory.</p><p>Not that I even mind it. Holding on to Johnny’s things. It felt real in my hand. A clear reminder that he was once real. It served me well since I had it. But how long before it can tell the difference if it was me holding it and not Johnny.</p><p>When I finally stop being me?</p><p>“I don't think the dress have a hiding spot for the gun.”</p><p>Johnny appeared nearby. His arms crossed and his back leaned against the door frame. There was humor in his voice but he could not hide the nervous strain in them.</p><p>In some other time, we would share jokes over this. The ridiculousness that he would become me. An ex-rockerboy trapped inside the mind of an ex-Corpo lady. So different and yet we understood each other so acutely. I often wondered if it was just the tech that made it easy. But it does made everything felt a bit bearable. </p><p>“I doubt they let me carry guns around the Arasaka princess. Not that it matter with my implants and mods. We will bring your car along too.”</p><p>“Having second thoughts?”</p><p>I mirrored his crossed arms and expression.</p><p>“Will you behave once we get there?”</p><p>“V, I’ve been a very good boy to you, haven’t I?” He gave a little smirk and just like that, the awkwardness was gone. He was still Johnny after all.</p><p>“Sometimes but this time it will be very different. You won’t like it.”</p><p>“You forget that I saw your memories. I know what to expect from them.”</p><p>Silly rockerboy. He created very loud music about corporations and corruption but yet have no idea what he will get himself into.</p><p>“Ready?” I asked.</p><p>“Always I am with you.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Whether V was aware it or not, sometimes she felt out of reach from him. Johnny felt that moment again when they stepped into the building. The moment they stepped into Embers. Everything sparked alarm in every part of him. His innate senses went on high alert. He controlled himself from pressuring V to walk away right back out. Maybe he can talk her into coming back with his pistol and blast every single Corpo suit in this building especially the Arasaka heiress.<br/><br/>He hated it. Their calculating gaze on her. Scanning her and anticipating every movement she might made. Everything felt heightened and observed. It was torturous. He knew she felt it.<br/><br/>She was wrong about him too. His nervousness and fear was for her. With every bow and every careful exchanged words. V becoming a chameleon that melded into someone he never thought she could be. She was just like them. The ones he yelled into his mic about selling their souls to the cooperation.</p><p>Her emotions and memories slowly leaked into him. He knew they had her drugged her since she was young. Shaped her until she fit into their desired and nefarious purposes. For every joy and life drained from her would make her productive. More pliable and willing to do everything for the company. Never saying no to them. </p><p>No longer the prickly girl with chaotic energy. But a woman who lived through years within this oppressive hellhole. This cloying crucible. They looked at her like she belong to them. Like they owned her.</p><p>There was nothing he could do about it. He never hated being dead more than this very moment.</p><p>
  
  <br/>
  <br/>
  
</p><p>The way the Arasaka bitch look at V. The longer they talk. The more visible was greed inside the older woman’s gaze. A predator who would swoop in at any moment of weakness. Within her own natural elements. Power and wealth and everything that was forever unattainable to people like him. </p><p>Yet, he believed in his V. Still the mercenary who spent her doing menial gigs and the freedom of choice it afforded her. She may wear their clothes, say the right things, be polite, recite protocols and other bullshit but he knew she would never allow herself to be caged again.<br/><br/></p><p><br/><br/>Her retreat was graceful until the moment the elevator's door closed behind them. She collapsed on the floor and they argued again even through her delirium. This stubborn woman still believe that he would be fine taking over her body. Even after the many times he promised he would save her.<br/><br/>Then he woke up in her body and everything felt wrong.</p><p>“No. No! V, wake up! I need you to wake up!” Johnny yelled at nothing but at himself. He punched the elevator and fidgeted in front of the panel. His mouth filled with curses and expletives. The door slid open and he ignored the wary looks from the Arasaka bastards who guard the entrance. </p><p>He ignored the looks of everyone around him who looked like he had gone mad. Yes, he was mad. Completely driven insane by the sheer stubbornness of this dying woman in him. Because The Relic is eating through her mind and neither of them could do nothing about it. The red pumps with narrow heel felt clumsy as he walked in them but he persevered. He had worn more uncomfortable things than this and he finally found his Porsche. His car that V found for him inside a shipping crate. </p><p>Johnny immediately got in and tried to find the omega blockers but it wasn’t where she usually put it and he only found the bottle that marked pseudoendotrizine.</p><p>“Fuck!” </p><p>Johnny started the engine and the car weave in and out of traffic toward Watson district. He looked in his rear-view mirror and saw his reflection and V sputtering in and out of existence. </p><p>“Hang on, V. You got to. Stay alive for me.”</p><p>The city blurred around him and It felt like forever until the moment he saw neon sign that said Esoterica. He braked hard and the car swept the pavement and dangerously skidded until he was in front of Misty’s store.</p><p>He ignored the the angry passerby around him and rushed into the store and nearly collided with Misty.</p><p>“V, what are you doing..?” Misty Olszewski looked at him and stopped mid-sentence. “Johnny?”</p><p>Johnny ignored her to rush at the backdoor to the ripperdoc’s clinic and barely acknowledge her when she cried out his name again. He nearly slipped on the stairs but caught himself upright and burst into the clinic. Shocking the ripperdoc and the patient on the medical chair.</p><p>“That’s enough. Get out of the chair!” Johnny yell at the patient. The doc moved in between Johnny and the bewildered patient who scrambled off the chair despite the open cavity in his chest. </p><p>“V, what the hell? You can’t just barge into here while I have a patient.” </p><p>Johnny gripped Vik’s collar and yelled on his face. “Save her now!”</p><p>Vik opened his mouth in shock and he looked behind Johnny where Misty stood. The girl put a hand on Johnny’s shoulder and on the hand around Vik’s collar.</p><p>“Johnny, take a deep breath and let Vik go. Of course, he’ll help. V is our friend too. Let him go. Let him fix his current patient. Then we’ll help.” </p><p>“Then fucking hurry up!” Johnny let go and moved away from them. Vik had this strange look on his face that was close to murderous. Misty shook her head and put a calming hand on his shoulder. </p><p>Johnny look up to see Misty helping Vik with his patient. He dragged his hand through his hair and began to reach for his pocket for a smoke but there was none. He was wearing V’s body. </p><p>V whose existence was hanging by a tether. It was entirely his fault. He pushed her to make certain choices for him. Rogue, Kerry and the reunion gig. He felt it too. The consequences of her actions. His engram forging deeper connection until her body felt more and more like his. </p><p>While Vik began to reassemble his patient’s part, Misty put an omega blocker pill in his hand and a small glass of water. He ignored the water and popped the pill inside his mouth and swallow it dry. He waited for the tell-tale signs of V resurging for control but nothing happened.</p><p>“Why didn’t it work? It should work instantly.“</p><p>Misty opened her mouth and shook her head. Johnny heard a series of expletives coming from Vik’s direction. The patient went on his feet and immediately rushed out through the back alley.</p><p>“Sit down, terrorist asshole.”</p><p>Johnny walked across the room, stumbling again on the damn shoes and slide himself over the still warm medical chair. Vik’s eyes were hard on the monitor, the frown lines on his face grew deeper and he heard Vik’s teeth grind.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Specifically, there is nothing wrong with you.” Vik took his glasses off to rubbed his eyebrows. But the doc gave him a look of complete hatred.</p><p>Johnny frowned. “What to you mean?”</p><p>“What I said. You, specifically, asshole. Everything is fine for you.” Vik emphasized on the word you so viciously. He turned the monitor to face Johnny.</p><p>“See here. These are the biochip nanites that infected her brain and this was her last scan two weeks ago. Now it covered 70% of her brain and still degrading. What the fuck happened to her? She should have more time.” </p><p>Johnny looked into the bright areas that marked the biochip’s invasion into V’s brain. It looked like a bomb had blown inside her brain. A bomb that have Johnny’s name on it.</p><p>“Then fix it. Operate on her. Bring her back!”</p><p>“What do you expect? Do you want me to cut out her brain into pieces? Lobotomizing her simply because you stole her entire life away?”</p><p>“Vik!” </p><p>Misty rushed to calm Vik who shook his head. </p><p>“Just wait until the drug you take began to work. Go take a nap or something.” Vik tore off his gloves and got up and walked out of the clinic. </p><p>Misty looked after Vik’s and then slowly she turned back to Johnny. “I have to ask again. What happened? Why V’s all dressed up like this?”</p><p>“We had to met someone. An Arasaka who want to make a deal. V collapsed after.”</p><p>“Does this mean you both have a plan now? With Arasaka?”</p><p>“We’re... I’m not letting her take that bitch’s deal. I know there’s other ways to get to Mikoshi. She have friends who can help her. I have friends who can help her. It will work out.”</p><p>Misty sat at the stool and studied his face. “It must be her choice, Johnny.”</p><p>“I know. Yes, it will always be her choice. Fuck it all!”</p><p>Johnny looked down and saw the specter of his metal left hand clenched into a fist. He felt V’s manicured nails digging into his palms even though he only saw himself. He covered his face with V’s hands.</p><p>“Wake up, V.”</p><p> </p><p>Hours later, Johnny felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Misty pouring him a glass of water and a heated food packet.</p><p>“I don’t think you both had dinner. It was not much. I could order takeout but I don’t think you could be alone long with Vik.”</p><p>“This is fine.” </p><p>Johnny took a sip of the cold drink and began to munch on whatever mulch that seemed to taste familiar and odd against his tongue. Food still taste weird. The things he forgotten after being dead for half a century.</p><p>Misty looked at him with a bemused look. </p><p>“Something on my face, kid?”</p><p>“No. Just strange to see a complete stranger wearing a familiar face.”</p><p>“I don’t know how any of you could tell the difference.”</p><p>“You controlled her body before?” Misty asked. </p><p>“V let me control her a few times. I get to meet a couple old faces.”</p><p>“So that’s why. She took the red pills?”</p><p>“It was all my fault. Being a sentimental idiot I am. I talked her into it even if she got hurt after. ”</p><p>Misty shook her head. “That sounds like exactly what our V would do. All or nothing.”</p><p>Johnny frowned. “Our?”</p><p>“All this time you sit in her head. Being with her every second. Every day since the night she put your biochip in her head. You of all of us would have figure her out. Would have known what she is about.”</p><p>“Jackie Welles.”</p><p>Misty nodded.</p><p>“Did you know they first met when they were little? A little girl that Jackie and his mother found at the side of the road. She was about 9 or 10. Jackie told me that the first time he laid eyes on her, he saw the little girl’s dress was covered in blood that wasn’t hers. She was too shell-shocked. They took her home and the whole time she said absolutely nothing. Not even her name.<br/><br/>Turns out she was in an accident with her parents. Some corpo wanted one of her parents dead. There was nothing left at the wreckage. Someone made sure of it. Everyone thought the entire family were dead but V escaped and walked hours and hours until Jackie and his mom found her. The whole time the Welles took care of the girl while the incident barely made news.”</p><p>“I don’t think she remember much about that time. It was like there were dark spots in her mind.”</p><p>“Probably repressed it at the back of her memories. V lived with them for a few months before she was discovered. Her family was bound to a corporation. Dead or alive, the family connections, estate and wealth. They saw her talent. V is an investment to them.”</p><p>“Arasaka.” Johnny finished.</p><p>“They took her away. Jackie didn’t see her again until several years later. She was so different. When Jackie told her who he was and V just laugh at his face.”</p><p>“When was this?”</p><p>“Ten years ago. I remember finding Jackie after. He told me that he saw what she was becoming and told her that they’d chew her and spit her out like she was nothing.”</p><p>“Did it end that way?”</p><p>Misty shook her head. “My Jackie was always persistent. The Corpo world was beyond our reach but he was patient. He wanted to find her again because he told me that when he looked at her in the eye, he saw nothing in there. Like she had gone back into her shell. The same look she had when Jackie found her. So terrified to the core and so lost that he spend weeks trying to coax her out of the shell just to learn her name. That’s why he left the Valentinos and go freelance. One gig at a time. He found her years later when she just starting working for Arasaka and her work fell into his path. Just like that she was back in his life. Jackie finally found his lost baby sister. He would always be there for her when she called. Even after the Corpos finally chewed her out and leave her for dead. He stayed with her and took her in with Mama Welles. She was family and there was nothing she could do about it.”</p><p>Johnny felt a twinge of something flitted through him. Jealousy for another dead man? “Why are you telling me this?”</p><p>“Because I know she wouldn’t. Talking about Jackie hurt her just like it did for me. She didn’t realize it much but underneath her hard shell was an orphan who knew deeply what it felt like when the world turn on each other and leave broken people around them. V lost her brother and found herself with you. I think she have that effect on you too. She broke herself for you.”</p><p>Johnny felt an overwhelming exhaustion over him. He realized it was the same feeling he had when he lost Alt. The feeling he would have written songs about. How it was possible, he didn’t care. It doesn’t matter. </p><p>“I don’t care what you did when you’re alive. V is all that matter now. Bring her back to us, Johnny. I saw your face. You have to. For both of you.”</p><p>Johnny looked at her and the shadow near the entrance where Vik sat. Waiting in the darkness. He recognized the look of grief even at a distance. “The blue pills don’t work anymore.”</p><p>Misty looked away and tears fell on her cheeks. “Johnny, if you want to save V, it will be up to you now.”</p><p>Something burned at the back of his eyes. He reached up to his face and felt tears. He tasted the saltiness of it. His tears. V’s tears. It has been forever since he shed his own tears. Even before.</p><p>“What do I have to do?”</p><p>Vik emerged from his hiding place and moved back to his workspace while Misty hovered at the back.</p><p>“The parasitic area might have gone into her limbic system. It was an area where emotions and memories was stored. We could try to nudge her out but...”</p><p>“Just say it.” Johnny pressed.</p><p>“I don’t think she would have long. A few hours maybe. Even less. The Relic will eventually consume her entirely.”</p><p>“A few hours is enough time for us to get to Mikoshi and save her.”</p><p>“What do you want to do? Storm into the fucking Arasaka tower all by your lonesome?”</p><p>“Whatever it is. It have to be V’s choice. Tell me how to bring her back.”</p><p>Vik looked at the panel and gritted his teeth. “She would need a lot of analgesics and blockers. It would be painful for her. If she take red pill again, it will be her last.”</p><p>Misty went to the other side and touched Johnny’s shoulder and began to rub on his back. He leaned his head on the headrest. </p><p> </p><p>He closed his eyes and his mind quickly flashed back to every moment he spent with her with crystal clear clarity. Maybe it was a side effect of being a digital construct.</p><p>The first thing he remembered was the sound of her breathing. It was hard at first. He was driving himself insane because time pass slowly around him. At least, in Mikoshi, time ceased meaning altogether for him. Too keep his mind of darker things. He would sit and concentrate on her. Being alive but sleeping and dreaming. He would imagine what she was dreaming and it keep him occupied. He would simply sit and watch over her until she would open her dark eyes and they would immediately found him. In an existence where nobody else could.</p><p>Then he remembered the fierce look on her face when she was so pissed off at him. Her annoyed cranky face whenever he said the dumbest things. When he sang to wake her up. The eye rolls he get from her. Then he remembered the sheer stubbornness whenever she was in danger. The intense fear that he felt when she constantly put herself in harm’s way.</p><p>Her wide beautiful grin when she fixed a roller coaster down in Pacifica. The way she smile whenever she asked if he had fun even when she didn’t have to. The way she looked at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. </p><p>Despite everything, V had done the impossible. She listened to him through his rages. She understood him deeply in ways no others did. In a lot of ways they were unintentional. It was just who she is. She shared her life with him without asking much in return. The thought of an existence in absence of her was painful to him. This pain he was feeling belong to her alone. He could not bear losing her.</p><p>V was an enigma and filled with contradictions and she continuously surprise him. Despite it all, he doubt he would claim to be the one who understood her completely. But maybe that was enough.</p><p>“Come back to me, V. Don’t fade away."</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>Weightlessness. Pitch darkness open up under me. A vast ocean filled with immeasurable depth. I could make out little lights that looked like stars. A path of light stretch beyond the wall of darkness. </p><p>The world around beckoned for me to lean closer. To reach for the forbiddenness of it. Moments crawled by.</p><p>
  <em>Wake up, V.</em>
</p><p>The echoes of that stopped her in tracks. A faint melody beckoning from a distance. Sharp and loud but ultimately familiar. Like electric guitar? </p><p>Where had I heard it before? </p><p>
  <em>Come back to me. Let’s end this fight together.</em>
</p><p>Johnny?</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Johnny felt it deeply in every atom of his digital construct. Her intense pain and her fears when she finally wake up. He was not alive and yet her emotions looped back to him. He could do nothing about it except feeling what she felt.</p><p>V looked around wildly and back at him like he would fix everything. Not knowing the next time she sleep and it might be her last. Yet, V managed to pull herself together and pretend for her friends that she could walk on her own. He never felt more useless in his entire life than watching her pretend she was not dying and not being able to hold her up.</p><p>He offered her the choices available to her. The Arasaka deal. Panam and her family. Waited for her to take the pill and for him to call on Rogue. He watched her mulled over the choices over and over. He watched her stare at his pistol. He felt her reliving his own memories. Her feelings and the heaviness that weight on her. The desperation and whether she was strong enough to take that sacrifice. She would rather not pay her own life with someone’s life. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Even now he felt her mentally holding on to him. As if reassuring herself that she was not alone in this. He kept his smile to himself when he offered her another choice. What he offers was what they both been doing together all these time. He knew her capabilities. Only his V would succeed. Besides he was nothing without his V. </p><p> </p><p>In front of Arasaka Tower, 2 A.M.</p><p>It was still too early for the road to be busy. V lingered in the driveway before she parked the Porsche in an empty VIP parking in front of Arasaka tower. Her hand reached for his gun that was rested it on her lap. As if holding on to its weight as a source of strength.</p><p>“Nervous? Reminiscing your time working here? All the office politics? Tiny cubicles? Feeling sentimental?”</p><p>“Are you? Wish we have a chopper and a rail gun. Should have packed more grenades.”</p><p>“Perhaps. But this way it will be fun.”</p><p>"I always know you will be death for me, Johnny Silverhand. Always get me into trouble and not even lifting a finger to help."</p><p>Johnny smirked. V took a few long meditative breath and her face were calm and serene. He felt her mind accessing a deep reserve that he didn't know she have. Something she hid so deep inside. She opened her eyes and there was a renewed sharpness in them.</p><p>Her gaze became distant. She has remotely deactivated the outdoor security.</p><p>“Let’s go and have some fun then.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Welcome to Arasaka tower. Weapons and other hazardous materials are not allowed on the premises. We wish you a pleasant day.</em>
</p><p>Johnny appeared inside the front atrium. There was five armed security guard on duty. They look at ease at the sight of V. In her scarlet dress and heels, she marched toward them like a high-ranking Corpo lady. Composed, graceful and beautiful. A normal sight for them. Barely noticing the weapon in her hand.</p><p>"Time to party like it was 2023." Johnny pretended to throw a rock at an armed guard. The front door let a piercing shriek after she passed through it.</p><p>It was a symphony of death. In a same instance when one guard tried to stop V's approach and he got his head blown off. One by one of the armed guard behind him fell; starting from left to right. One screamed as something exploded in his skull. Another died when his assault weapon exploded in his hands. The next shrieked in pain while covering his ears and the last clawed at his eyes. V dispatched the rest easily and it probably took her less than ten seconds.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Johnny was about to say something about rehearsed game plan but wisely kept his mouth shut. V picked up two grenades from the dead bodies. She calmly strode through the foyer. </p><p>V braced herself as if expecting something big. It did when two security mechs dropped from the ceiling. She flung both grenades to their direction and she dove for cover. Two explosions rocked the building and there was a rain of metal and wires. <br/><br/>Johnny waited by the elevator and pointed to it. "When the first tower went up in smoke, labs were..."</p><p>"Underground." V finished for him. She looked at him again like he was an idiot. She rose to her feet and tapped her hand to the intercom and after a beep. "おはよう, 田中-さん?"</p><p>"Oh, is that Miss V? I haven't heard you around in months. Did you lose your pass again?"</p><p>"Yeah, I just got from Singapore and it was too early to call HR. I need to get my stuff from the labs and my next flight is in one hour. Can you ring up the elevator for me?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah." The elevator panel turned green.</p><p>"Thank you, Tanaka-san. Are you still in the building?"</p><p>"Yeah? My shift is ending in an hour."</p><p>"There's a fire in the lobby. The alarm went off and I think there's a call for evacuation."</p><p>"Oh... I think I felt that. But why are you going down the labs instead, Miss V?"</p><p>The elevator doors slid open just moments when they heard a rush of boots coming toward their direction. </p><p>"I need to hurry, bye!"</p><p>
  
</p><p>V stepped into the compartment and the doors were shut before more Arasaka soldiers arrived into the foyer. Johnny stared at her in silence until she narrowed her eyes at him.</p><p>"My head is literally killing me. Are expecting me to slay a mountain of soldiers all by myself?"</p><p>Johnny folded his arms and leaned against the panel in front of her. "It would be fun. Going soft on me now?"</p><p>"I'm not as insane as you are, Johnny Silverhand. This is my suicide mission. I got ourselves down. It will be fine. Just need to focus on getting to the Mainframe. We got this."</p><p>"Here I thought blasting through every door was the whole point of a suicide mission."</p><p>"And you suck at it both times."</p><p>"Third time is the charm. Fine! Got any bright ideas?"</p><p>"The long way through the warehouse. Or the shortcut through the runners offices. Either way will be risky but I know this place. Spend more time down here than the small cubicles up there."</p><p>"Afraid of killing former colleagues?"</p><p>"More like the opposite. We're in a tower and there's hundreds working underground without ever seeing the sky for months. Believe me, we're entering an area with the most ambitious and bloodthirsty bunch you can ever find in this building. You'll see."</p><p>The elevator descended to a stop. V ignored the path to the left and walked through an unmarked door. It lead to an enclosed sterile hallway of a maze without markers. She also discretely switched off the surveillance camera as she move forward and walked like she belong to this space. She neared a disposal-marked desk with heaping stacks of paper and folders on it. She grabbed a stack and held them against her chest to hide the gun.</p><p>There was a receptionist area with bleary eyed secretary who looked up. V gave her a brief nod before walking through a path of enclosed spaces, archives, computers, gadgets, displays like every corporate offices. More people walking around and talking but they were more focused on the screens or their colleagues. Some of them looked up and recognized her. She simply gave them a brief wave and largely ignored them and they did to her as well. Nobody else seem to give her a second look after she walked past them. </p><p>When she turned into a corner, she almost collided against a large man in a suit. She tried sidestep him but the man grabbed her arm. She frowned at the stranger whose eyes was hidden behind a pair of dark glasses. Johnny expected V to just walk through them but her eyes were fixed on another bespectacled suit. They all look like they know her and so did she.</p><p>A long silence stretched between all three of them. The larger man reached down to confiscated the gun and the papers fell on V's shoes. She looked murderous at them but did nothing.</p><p>"V?" Johnny asked but she ignored him.</p><p>The man studied the gun and dragged V forward. The other man went near them until V was surrounded.</p><p>"Someone want to see you."</p><p>Johnny watched the two men escorted her through the sterile hallways and dark offices. Displays filled with endless data stream and corporate secrets. They passed through the netrunners operations where he saw people glowed in the darkness, soaked in coolant liquid and attached to machines. The true heart of Arasaka operations in Night City. His fingers twitched with the thought of violence.</p><p>Then they were brought to a larger area with huge sign that said Office of Directors, Special Operations. The men guided her to a huge door and V pushed herself through it like she had done it many times. A tall Corpo woman stood behind her desk. The wall on her back were lined with large display panels filled with corporate secrets. Her dark hair slicked back. She studied V with light-colored eyes filled with hawkish contempt.</p><p>V stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed to her chest.</p><p>"Hey, Suzie."</p><p>"Leave us," said Susan Abernathy to her two guards. The men nodded and went outside. </p><p>Moments dripped by in a strained silence. The Director walked around the table and leaned against it. They both looked at each other with mirrored distaste on their faces.</p><p>"You have done remarkably well for yourself, Agent V. Made a name for yourself in certain circles. Glowing reviews from your fixers. V always so reliable. V the professional. Could handle diverse range of targets. Gun for hire. Rescue. Theft. Militech. Biotechnica. Multiple gangs. Corpo elites. Most of your targets barely knew what hit them and all were left with a giant mess in their hands."</p><p>"Been keeping tabs on me? What was this? Competency based assessment?"</p><p>"I've read your last medical reports and psychiatric evaluation. Paranoia, aggression, increased tolerance to the company-required series of prescribed medications, stimulants, anti-anxiety and mood stabilizers. Growing signs of cyberpsychosis. Enough that your counselor advised you to be retrenched or you will put the company in danger. I called off the kill order because it appears you wouldn't last after a couple days on your own. Yet, here you are."<br/><br/>V gave Susan a nasty smirk. "Here I am."</p><p>"Apparently, it was not a coincidence that you were seen with a certain VVIP merely hours ago. An internal inquiry was filed against me about a certain disposed asset. Her possible reinstatement. My possible replacement. Come to be my reaper, V? Trying to finish what Arthur told you to do?"</p><p>Susan brandished a gun. Her movement was erratic and shaky. Her dilated pupils filled with paranoid hatred and intense jealousy. </p><p>"Not happy with your life behind the desk, Suzie?"</p><p>"You, of all people, don't get to judge me. I know you, V. You're just as bad as I am. Even worst."</p><p>"But not as predictable. You only know how to make enemies who want you dead. Arthur's dead because of you and your ambitions. You can suck up the entire board of directors for the entire year and still it wouldn't make a difference. Months later you're still hiding in here with those two goons outside. Not a good way to advertise that you wouldn't last a year."</p><p>"I earned this directorship. This seat is mine! I've stripped you of everything and I can do it again! You don't get to come back and replace me!" </p><p>V swerved from the line of sight just as the bullet flew to where she once stood. A frightening electrically-amplified sound singed the air. Susan's bodyguards rushed in immediately but not after they saw the top half of Susan's skull slid to the floor.</p><p>"きさま! くたばれ!"</p><p>The larger one rushed at her with a wakizashi. He looked like a rampaging rhino. But V was quicker. Another sound of reverb. A clean line form across his waist. His body split in half like a meat sack.</p><p>The sudden brutality of it made his companion's mouth gape. Before the man could recover, V snapped the wire around his neck and pulled him to her. She grabbed the sword off the ground and cleanly sliced the man's head off with a one-handed strike.</p><p>After a few second of silence, the discharged mono-wire snapped back to it's resting place. V reached down to pick up Johnny's gun off the floor. She rushed behind the desk and fingers flew over the keyboards.</p><p>"Suzie here an old friend?" Johnny reappeared next to the woman's corpse.</p><p>"A rival from an old life. She's better at ass-kissing. I’m better at ass-kicking. I wouldn't necessarily call that a friendship."</p><p>Johnny appeared next to her but she was focused on multiple screens in silence. He leaned over a panel. He saw a profile of V looking a bit younger than she was. A brief background history, educational background, specialization, recommendations and other boring things. There's a long list of black redacted lines with dates and places like Tokyo, Seoul, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, etc.</p><p>"What did you used to do exactly?" Nothing too specific. Totally neutral.</p><p>"I thought you know all my secrets."</p><p>"Not all of them apparently, Agent V. You can tell me, I'm already dead."</p><p>V rolled her eyes and held her palm on a screen. "I've reset the surveillance network, blocked certain areas around the Mainframe. Triggered alarms in all other sectors. Okay, just restored my biometric data and got the directorial access."</p><p>"At least, she got it right about you replacing her."</p><p>Johnny chuckled but the glare he received was worth it. She looked like his V again. </p><p>"This will buy us some time. Might still need to fight our way through. Let's move."</p><p>Familiar with the layout of the area.  Easily cracking through locked doors for shortcuts. Her enemies never know how to deal with her. Ambushing stragglers even before they realize the threat or what was happening to them. After all, she was one of them. She knew their tactics. Never realizing they had groomed her to be a perfect weapon. A silent blade turning against her own creator and his servants. </p><p>Johnny admired the precise way she blew heads off with his pistol. Every move was calculated and economical. Turning Arasaka’s agents into pieces. Either with her borrowed sword or her charged wire. Like an electric string instrument that vibrated and glide. Until it produce a deep passionate music steeped in feminine violence.</p><p>Every movements in sync with the beat inside his head. One woman carving her path of destruction leaving bodies left and right. A brutal dance of red death. Until there was no one left standing but her alone.</p><p>"Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair."</p><p>V ignored him and pulled up the mainframe panel. Her skin glistened with sweat and blood. She picked Alt's shard out of her head. Both of them waited and Alt announced her presence overhead and a sudden fried electric equipment filled the room.</p><p>Johnny started to feel anxious as they waited for Alt to unlock the doors. V showed signs of strain. She hide it very well from him. But her eyes looked glassy and her breathing becoming harsh and urgent. In her right hand was his gun and the other was a blood-soaked wakizashi. More blood dripped on the floor. Some might be hers. </p><p>It was until the last gate that they heard it. Heavy footsteps growing louder and louder. V quickly slipped between shutter and rolled away. Narrowly being crushed by Adam Smasher who blew through his way into the atrium. </p><p>Terror gripped Johnny at the sight of V backing away from Smasher who towered over like an iron mountain. Glowing eyes filled with madness. More machine than human. Always hungry for blood.</p><p>"Pathetic little bitch. I know I can find you in here. Think your little knife can stop me. I shall grind you up like a juicy meat."</p><p>V grimaced at the giant chrome. She backed away until she was in the middle of the large room.</p><p>"Didn't take you for a cannibal. But you really look like you belong inside a kitchen."</p><p>Smasher roared in anger. He then leaped high into the air with his fist barreling down toward V. Like a giant metal flying predator finding it's prey.</p><p>"Move, V!" Johnny screamed. </p><p>It was until the last few seconds that she rolled away, moment before Smasher could crush her. She fired point blank to the seams inside Smasher's chest and the plate snapped loose to reveal an orange glow. Smasher's machine heart. The mountain screamed when his swing missed her by an inch. </p><p>She glided away and widening the range between them again. She held Johnny's gun up.</p><p>"Recognize this gun, meathead?"</p><p>More fire brightened his eyes. "That was mine! How!"</p><p>"Nicked it off a dead mouthy friend of yours."</p><p>"Thief! I'll crush you like an insect!" Smasher roared.</p><p>
  <em>Boom! Boom! Boom! </em>
</p><p>V fired a cascade of precise shots to the orange glow. Smasher tried to protect his vulnerable spot. Then he roared again before unleashing his a box of rocket launchers. Probably what V anticipated when she ran fast into cover. A narrow escape from a death by incendiary rain.</p><p>Then several security turrets was dislodged from the wall. V hacked one of them and all of them collectively aim at Smasher. It sound like a heavy metal concert of railguns raining bullets against metal. Smasher roared again in confusion but in pain as thousands of bullets bounced off him. Probably unaware that V had obtain access to the facility. Smasher turn his focus on destroying the turrets one by one while V waited for her chance.</p><p>Finally, she slipped out of the cover. Gun aimed directly to Smasher's unguarded back and to the attached artillery weapon. Several precise shots and then something ignited. Smasher let our another guttural roar as his entire body burst into flames. Possibly the fuel that powered his large frame. He briefly remembered the memory that she had seen Smasher before in a brain dance and likely researched on him.</p><p>V made the most of the mountain's distraction. She dashed forward and sliced off Smasher's right arm and landed another strike to his left arm. Unfortunately the sword broke in half and only sliced through Smasher's wrist. It was too late to avoid the incoming blow from his left stump which send her flying into the air.</p><p>Johnny watched helplessly as V crashed against the floor. She went still but after a moment she began to move. She groaned out loud. Holding her abdomen and coughed up more blood. She spat again on the floor and curled back into a low position and reaching for the pistol lying next to her. When she look up, a pure maniacal grin appeared. Her mind filled rage that numbed herself from any pain. No longer focused on anything else but destroying Smasher.  <br/><br/>Meanwhile, Smasher struggled hard to get back on his feet. His body was unbalanced and still in flames. His left stump flayed useless. What remain of his organic flesh had burned off. He looked like a walking metal skeleton now as the inferno underneath his body began to melt his parts. His hideous red glare fixed on V. His metal teeth bared threateningly.</p><p>"You will die for this, little girl!" Smasher rose and began to stomp toward her.</p><p>Johnny heard an odd trembling noise build inside his head. A low throbbing with a familiar beat like he used to thrum on his guitar strings but much deeper and more sensuous. Wrathful current tinged with crimson violence. A song born out of the heart of a woman who shared her life with him.<br/><br/>He watched her eyes turned deadly. She fired more shots at the joints at Smasher's knee which unbalanced the metal skeleton who crashed on the floor. She ran forward and flipped high into the air. A sharp distortion sliced the air as her electric string strung wide. The sound of a promised death. The wire snapped around Smasher's head like a tight lasso. V landed over Smasher's back and forced him to fall flat on his face.</p><p>V made another circle then pulled on the charged wire so hard around Smasher's neck until his scream curdled inside his metallic throat. The electrified string sang in a deadly glissando. Her skin glowed red-gold against Smasher's burning flames. Her merciless face was a ruthless mask of fury and rage. A majestic angel of death at a verge of a heavenly execution. The mouth of the Malorian Arms 3516 shoved against the base of Smasher's concaving neck. </p><p>"What the f-"</p><p>"This is for Johnny."</p><p>
  <em>Boom!</em>
</p><p>A huge feeling of heaviness fell off Johnny's chest. Yet, not for himself but utter relief at the sight of his victorious angel dressed in blood. Standing on top of Smasher's ruined body like a grand painting. She looked like she had gone through hell and back.<br/><br/>V slid off Smasher's flambéed back and kicked his metal head to release the wire off his neck. She kicked him again to make sure he's dead. Satisfied, she slowly limped toward Mikoshi.</p><p>Johnny had a dream of this before. Both of them on a bridge with a pillar of light. He turned to look at V. Her fearless eyes filled with determination despite The Relic actively killing her. Degraded every part of her with each step. Yet, she crawled herself across the bridge. Fueled by sheer will and desperation burrowed so deeply in her core.</p><p>Come on, baby. You can do it.</p><p>Her fingers found the plug inside the pillar. She connected it to her head. He watched her dark glassy eyes as she fell backward into the icy solvent. For a moment, Johnny felt her beautiful living soul becoming tangible to him.</p><p>Then the Soulkiller burned them both apart.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Johnny knew this will happen. Even before V followed Brigitte through the tunnels underneath a church. Where Voodoo Boys conducted their illicit netrunner operations. Years being trapped in Mikoshi gave him a certain perspective. He had known what Alt had become behind the wall. Or rather the Rogue AI who wore the skeletal imprint of the woman he once loved and hated. He felt it in his bones or rather through the codes of his engram. A maelstrom of chaos and wrath. In the nothingness in between binaries, he finally come face to face with Alt and he knew she was long gone.<br/><br/>Just before V severed the connection to bring them back to Realspace, Alt had directed her last message only to him.</p><p>
  <em>"Why go through all the trouble when the answer is clear? Johnny Silverhand will always do what is only good to himself."</em>
</p><p>Johnny knew V would never forgive him for this. For never telling her the true cost of their deal with the Soulkiller. He was with her as she crawled on the floor. Every moment engraved into his soul. Every excruciating pain as her life began to fade away. But he was a selfish bastard.<br/><br/>He would never suffer an eternity of existing without V in it. He was with her when the Soulkiller burned through her mind. He felt it ravaged through her mindlessly. Tearing her apart piece by piece. Rendering her into a digital version that was a pale version of the person she was.<br/><br/>Johnny saw the shocking devastation on her face when she realized what have been done to her. He held himself still as she tried to make sense of it. In here, he could finally touch her. He could hug her and comfort her. Lie to her that it will be alright. But his V could always see through his own bullshit. <br/><br/>But he was there when Alt gave V the final ultimatum. The final betrayal. That V was only buying herself some time before she would die again. He watched V stared at him with tearful eyes filled with viciousness and hatred. Her anguish and hurt. Yes, he was the selfish asshole who did this to her. It was a price that he paid so that she would never fade away.<br/><br/>It doesn't matter anymore. He would never allow Alt take his V. He would accept his own his fate and embrace it. All that matters was his V would return home. She would go back to the people who loves her and he would continue on being the ghost of Johnny Silverhand. A selfish bastard who don't deserve her.<br/><br/></p><hr/><p> </p><p>A couple weeks later. </p><p>At the balcony of a refurbished apartment in Charter Hill.</p><p><br/>“V, are you coming in?” River asked from the inside the house. </p><p>“In a moment,” I said loudly. Content to just sit here at the edge, with breeze rustling my hair. So high up that the air felt almost clean as one would find further along the badlands. </p><p>Strong muscular arms warped around me. River turned her around and gave her a widest smile. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Why do you always ask me that?” I kissed his chin and smirked at him.</p><p>“Because whenever I look away, you would be somewhere else. Far away.”</p><p>“Afraid I would go away out of reach?”</p><p>River stared at me. Silence stretched between them. “Something changed after the tower. With you. You still haven’t told me the details.”</p><p>“Of course, everything change. Why shouldn’t it be?”</p><p>“I’m not talking about what happened after. It felt like a large part of you was missing. Like you have lost something that you can’t seem to let me know about it. I know your friends seemed to know what that is but I don’t know why you want to keep it from me.”</p><p>I touched his cheek and traced his rough jawline. “Cop intuition again, Officer Ward?”</p><p>“Am I right?”</p><p>“It have been a rough year. I am just processing. Now, can we change the subject? Do you like it?”</p><p>River sighed and then looked around the area. “Can we afford it? Don’t you think it was too large for both of us?”</p><p>I snorted and turn around to face their new penthouse. “It used to feel larger.”</p><p>“You’ve been here before?”</p><p>I tried to evade the question but River’s penetrative gaze was too much. “It used to belong to my parents. Like twenty years ago.”</p><p>River raised his eyebrows. “This is the house you grew up in?”</p><p>I bit my lips. “There was some complications after my parents die. I thought the house was lost because their assets was frozen. Now it was easier for them to hand it back to me. It didn’t look so grand before. We could renovate it again?”</p><p>“Nah... might as well enjoy it. A taste of corporate living.”</p><p>“Not really by Night City’s standard.” I corrected him.</p><p>“Just teasing. Do you want to do a bit of housewarming before the party? We have some time.”</p><p>“You need to finalize the proceedings with the real estate agent and pick up Joss and get the kids someone to watch over them. I still need to go through some preparations in Afterlife. And it was a private memorial for Jackie. Not a party.”</p><p>“Not from what I heard. I didn’t realize the company you keep and learn to be wary whenever you said you have some friends.”</p><p>“Still traumatized by Kerry crashing into our special dinner, hmm?”</p><p>“He was definitely... an experience. He kept calling me Officer Steamy and I haven’t forgiven you for that, you know.”</p><p>“It was not my fault. It was his club, yes. But I didn’t know he was there. He was supposed to be on the other side of the planet.”</p><p>“This happen a lot, didn’t it? The God of Rock spiriting you away into a crazy mess and you fixed things up for him? Often with a grenade and car chases and the two of you laughing about it.”</p><p>I opened my mouth and thought about it for a second. “At least we had a fun night, right?”</p><p>“Didn’t tell me you temp for that Samurai reunion. Found out about it when Randy gushed over dinner. My girlfriend made it a habit to keep things a lot to herself.”</p><p>River pulled me closer to him but kept his eye contact. I laughed. “Detective River, I could fill skyscrapers with secrets. You can’t expect to give you an easy time with them.”</p><p>“Then I shall keep interrogating you until you cave in.”</p><p>“With what?”</p><p>River grinned and kissed me until my head spun. It felt like forever that I became lost in the feel of him. While completely ignoring the Delamain air taxi flying over and parking in the designated yard. </p><p>He pulled away and frowned at the cab. “Can’t your AI friend be late?” </p><p>“Be nice to Delamain. He have his charms. Remember to call me when you’re near Afterlife. I have something special for everyone.“</p><p>River looked at me. Probably analyzing every minute details of my facial expressions with his trained perspective. Finally, he nodded even if reluctantly.</p><p>
  
</p><p><br/>Half an hour later.<br/>Afterlife.</p><p>The club looked different when the lights weren’t lit up. Staff busy preparing meals and drinks. Almost like it was normal without the merc activities that usually fill the interior in normal days. I watched Misty dusting her hands while she fussed over the small ofrenda on the wall. Then satisfied, she turned to join me at the bar.</p><p>Misty leaned over and hugged me. “Thanks for doing this, V. Jackie would have loved it.”</p><p>“Remember this is for you. I wished I could help with Mama Welles though.”</p><p>“Not in this lifetime. I am accepting of that fact.”</p><p>“Everything look good?” I prompted.</p><p>“Yeah, I think I left something in the shop. I will be back before dark.”</p><p>I nodded and watched Misty walked away before turning back to the drink in my hand. </p><p>“Hey, V.” Someone sat next to me and I looked up to see Rogue. </p><p>“You’re early.”</p><p>“Just to see what’s going on with the club. I heard there was some trouble in the kitchen.”</p><p>“Aha... there was a mixed up with the orders. So we ended up with an extra crate of tequila.” I lifted the glass to her.</p><p>“Could be worse,” Rogue shrugged. “Claire, the usual.” </p><p>The bartender turned and waved at us. Then we both fell into a companionable silence. Rogue kept looking at me and I kept my gaze to the drink. </p><p>“Thinking about him?” She asked.</p><p>
  
</p><p>I gave Rogue a look. “Can’t brood over my drink in peace?”</p><p>“Not in my club. And especially not with you. Trust me, I know the look. Johnny always have that effect on all of the women who loved him. Ruined beyond recognition.”</p><p>I laughed. “Nobody can love Johnny Silverhand as much as he loved himself.”</p><p>Rogue gave me a long look and grabbed the drink handed to her. “That was also correct. But you knew all that anyway.”</p><p>I gulped down the tequila and ordered another. “It doesn’t matter. I’m with someone else. Besides how was it possible to love a dead man?”</p><p>“I’m not judging. I am just saying it as it is. Everyone worry about you. You haven’t look like yourself. You look like you can go on pretending like everything was fine. Like nothing happened.”</p><p>I clenched my teeth and began to fidget on the bar stool.</p><p>Rogue leaned closer and rubbed my back. It felt comforting and soothing. “You can talk to me about it. About him.”</p><p>“I don’t think I could.”</p><p>“At least, try?”</p><p>I looked at Rogue who smiled at me. There was sadness in her eyes but also understanding.</p><p>“It was like a part of me was ruthlessly ripped out. Nothing could be the same again. And the guilt I felt after.”</p><p>“Guilt? What do you mean, V?”</p><p>Claire slipped a glass near her. I took it in my hand and looked into the opaque reflection. I saw Johnny in it. </p><p>“I made a choice. In some ways he did too. What a fucking asshole.”</p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p>I looked at Rogue and stopped myself. It was not fair. I had done enough damage to her by bringing Johnny back into her life. Would it be better if I had told her the truth that I was just an engram and my body now belong to Johnny. That under a different circumstance, Johnny would be here instead of a dying V.</p><p>“V, are you alright?”</p><p>“Can we talk about this some other time? I know you’re busy.”</p><p>Rogue looked at me with the same expression as River. As if I had something important in me. I was too much a coward to say it.</p><p>"I will be around if you need me, okay?"<br/><br/>I nodded. Rogue gripped the back of my shoulder and left. I looked into my drink and laid my head on the table. I closed my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Sometime after 8 P.M, still in Afterlife.</p><p>I looked close to the mirror in Afterlife’s bathroom. The makeup was redone perfectly. I fluffed my hair and smiled even though it didn’t reach my eyes. It will have to do. Outside the bathroom, the club looked vibrant and alive with familiar people whose lives I had touched and changed. They greeted me by name, cheerful smiles, compliments, teases. This moment was filled with the most infectious joy of life. </p><p>Rogue rubbed the back of my shoulder as she passed by for the kitchen. Mama Welles standing beside Jackie’s ofrenda while Misty hovered nearby with panicked look. Judy winked at me while seemingly more interested in Claire. Panam, Mitch and Saul cheered with their drinks in their hands. At one of the tables, Joss looked starstruck at Kerry who was talking to River. They looked up and their smiles lit up. </p><p>“There you are,” River kissed me. The world spun to a stop and I pulled away. I looked behind him and found Kerry with a wide grin. </p><p>“Did you bring it?” I asked.</p><p>“Of course, I did. I have another surprise, look at the stage.” </p><p>I did and saw Nancy and Denny. They grinned together and waved at us. Their instruments was already prepared in their corner. I froze. “Oh, no!”</p><p>“Oh, yes.” Kerry pushed me forward. I turned to River for help but he simply who sat back and held up his hand in surrender. </p><p>“It will be fine. Just do what you showed me that time.”</p><p>“That was different.” I squeaked.</p><p>“Hey, you talked me into this. If anything it was completely your fault.”</p><p>Kerry pulled up a guitar case and spread it on top of a table. I plucked the string. “I already tuned it. Just take your time. Don’t worry, we won’t be crazy.”</p><p>Denny snorted. “I don’t believe you ever understand what that mean.”</p><p>“Didn’t the two of you blew up a van or something?” Nancy teased him.</p><p>“That was an artistic expression!”</p><p>I pulled the instrument out of the case and slid the leather strap over my shoulder. Like most things that belong to Johnny’s; the electric guitar felt right in my hand.</p><p>Kerry rearranged some things and have a mic and a stool ready. Everyone in the group smile encouraging and I braced myself to look at everyone who gathered around us. I felt the nervousness came and swallow it. There will be some other time when I would look back at this moment and regret it.</p><p>I sat on the stool and touched the mic. </p><p>“Umm... hello, everyone. I’m V.”</p><p>“We know!” Someone shouted from the crowd and they all burst into laughter. </p><p>I huffed and tried again. “Someone is a fucking comedian. Okay, so, thank you everyone for coming. I didn’t expect to see a lot of faces and I am grateful for that. It was hard to imagine that a year ago, I would have laughed at the absurdity of all this. </p><p>Tonight I invited everyone here to celebrate the ones who touched our lives and changed everything. So many things happened in these past months that was like a roller coaster. A ride that changed everything. I am so lucky to have my life touched by so many people and also the ones who once lived. Like one Jackie Welles.”</p><p>Vik rose from the crowd and passed a glass to me. I smiled at him and raised the glass and so did the crowd. “To the man who I am proud to call as my big brother. Who never once given up on me, not even once, even when I thought I lost all hope and lost everything. To Jackie Welles.”</p><p>“To Jackie!” </p><p>The crowd cheered and we drank in remembrance. I heard a couple sniffles and put down the glass under the stool. My hand touched the strings again and suddenly it hurt to speak. The crowd finally settle down and I looked up and smiled through my tears. </p><p>“When someone told me this song was a personal favorite. I just roll my eyes without really caring or understanding what it meant. It was so much later that it felt differently now.”</p><p>I closed my eyes. I remembered waking up to see Johnny Silverhand with a guitar in his hands and humming.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Because we lost everything. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>We had to pay the price.”</em>
</p><p>I opened my eyes and saw the faces of the people and their names. Vik and Misty standing side by side with Mama Welles who was smiling sadly. Rogue with a haunted look in her eyes. </p><p>
  <em>“I saw in you what life was missing.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You lit a flame that consumed my hate.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm not one for reminiscing but,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'd trade it all for your sweet embrace.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Cause we lost everything,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We had to pay the price.”</em>
</p><p>More memories flood in my mind again. As if readily at present and sharply. As if I was inside a brain dance but more real. I remembered Johnny’s memory of what happened to him and Alt. I remembered being with River and lamented about the time we have left together. I felt through the emotions again; every need, desperation, regret, horror and pain. The precariousness of life that could be lost at any moment.</p><p>
  <em>“There's a canvas with two faces,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Of fallen angels who loved and lost,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It was a passion for the ages,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And in the end guess we paid the cost”</em>
</p><p>I laid my fingers on the strings and began to strum on it. It was amazing how they found the notes as if I had done it thousands of times despite the fact that I never learn how to play any musical instruments. It felt as if Johnny Silverhand guided my fingers himself and I let myself lost in the song.</p><p>
  <em>“A thing of beauty - I know.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Will never fade away.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>What you did to me - I know.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Said what you had to say.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But a thing of beauty.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Will never fade away...”</em>
</p><p>My voice was clear and rough. Emotions flowed and I let it go. I felt warm heat covered my cheeks. I sang like I had my heart broken into million pieces. Like I have lost something so great. That was so far out of reach.</p><p>It goes on until it ended and the music faded. I open my eyes but all I felt was an overwhelming exhaustion. A crowd of silence and soft sounds of crying. I took a breath and they came shaky. Faces blurred around me but I could see Rogue in tears. I turned to look at Kerry who also have the same raw expression and tears on his cheeks. The same fresh grief that we shared. </p><p>Kerry rushed forward and I opened my arms for him. He gathered me in his warm embrace and his entire body shook. I could feel my own grief reemerging itself deep inside my own chest. The sharp and painful absence in the shape of Johnny Silverhand.</p><p>I let Kerry Eurodyne hold me close.</p><p>And we grieved.</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Several months later.</p><p>Inside the Crystal Palace in low Earth orbit.</p><p> </p><p>I was floating in a frozen ocean of darkness. It was cold and silent. The weightless of it removed all the layers of what I was. I am at peace. There was nothing to do except to lie still and being content.</p><p>But there was an urgency at the back of my mind. Like I had to do something important. Something clanged in a distance. The sound repeated over and over until it become a harmony. I became fascinated by it. I tried to move but I was bound to something. </p><p>I want to wake up. The ocean broke apart and swallow me whole. </p><p>Red lights flashes over and over. I was on a metal bed and it felt cold against my cold, numb and naked flesh. How did I get here? My eyes scanned around the area. Medical equipment, generators and a wall with cleverly hidden human-sized fridges.</p><p>A morgue.</p><p>I forced my body to sit up. It felt sluggish and clumsy. I looked around again and saw a body sprawled on the floor. Died of stroke induced by faulty implants. </p><p>Something plugged into my head. I reached over and tear it off. The interface around me went silent. I laid my feet on the cold floor. A long laboratory coat hang by the door. I wore it but they were too big and hang loose on my dying body. When I look down, black blood slid from my nose and dripped on my chest. The world shattered into binaries. </p><p>
  <em>Relic malfunctioning.</em>
</p><p>I am running out of time. I know. Nothing new about that.</p><p>In any moment now, someone would discover an invasive malware spreading through the system. Sparked from the moment they brought my body into the station. Like a virus slowly spread but lay benign and dormant. Waiting until it was reactivated into something else.</p><p>I scanned for Johnny’s pistol and it was somewhere in the station. I walked through door. More dead bodies lying on the floor. Part of me would have cared but all I feel was numbness. Like a large chunk of who I was have died.</p><p>Maybe it already have a long time ago.</p><p>I heard the sounds of heavy boots rushing over every direction.</p><p>“Freeze! Hands where I can see them!”</p><p>I glitched their weapons until they lie useless in their hand. I triggered their grenades until they exploded. Panicked screaming echoed throughout the corridor. My feet carried me again to my destination. </p><p>It look a while until I found the station security. The front of it looked like a burned out husk. I stepped over to the still intact processing center and scanned for the area. A matched signature in the database. The internal vacuum system operated and a box immediately called to me by a drone. I reached inside and felt the familiar weight of the Malorian Arms 3516.</p><p>A wave of pain wrecked all over me. I stop myself in my track. Someone was trying remote hacking and attempting to slow me down. More blood splattered on the floor. I’m bleeding through every orifices now. </p><p>I turned to the wall displays and the screen scrolled until it was filled with the face of one Arasaka Hanako. </p><p>“You!” Hanako screeched on the screen. She looked bedraggled as if she have been gone through hell and back. As if she could escape and hide until everything settle down. “Did you do all of this? How did you find me?”</p><p>“Not easy.” My voice felt rough as if I had caught a flu. “There was supposed to be a casino heist but I guess that didn’t matter now.”</p><p>“What do you want? Riches, wealth? I can give you all that. What more can you want? You have ruined all of us.”</p><p>“V?” </p><p>A familiar voice. A familiar face. Someone covered in blood and a weapon in his hands pointed directly at me. The virus left him untouched as it should.</p><p>I smiled at him.</p><p>“Takemura, shoot her!” Hanako yelled into the screen.</p><p>Takemura Goro looked at me in horror. “What have you done?”</p><p>“I saved your life once. Johnny said you were dead but I ignored him.”</p><p>Takemura looked at me and the screen. His hand shook but his grip tightened.</p><p>“What are you-!” Hanako’s voice was muted but she shouted on the screen regardless of the fact nobody care about her. Black blood began to flow from her nose while her hands was busy doing something. Saving herself? Trying to counterhack what was already done. Poor old thing.</p><p>“I got your message. I laughed when you called me a whore. I’ve been called so much worse but it sound cute when you said it in Japanese. I have one too; うるせいな, 糞じじ!”</p><p>“Why are you doing all these, V? Answer me!”</p><p>“Remember our talk. Look at what they have done to us. Their loyalty was not worth the price, 五郎-さん.”</p><p>“It was not up to you to decide. Let her go or I shoot.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t make a difference anyway.”</p><p>My knees gave out and I fell against the display wall while Arasaka Hanako slowly dying over her desk.</p><p>Takemura stayed still but slowly he saw my own blood covering the floor. He grabbed my cold body to him. I watched his face now wrought with grief. For me?</p><p>“Why, V?”</p><p>My mouth felt dry. I could feel The Relic breaking down into pieces. Arasaka might recover my dead body but they would never learn anything from it. I made sure of it.</p><p>I blinked away the tears and pulled Johnny’s gun up to my chest. The weight of it was always comforting. A solid thing. An anchor.</p><p>“Soulkiller. The Relic. Nobody should live forever.”</p><p>“It was not our place...”</p><p>“Bullshit. You know that too. At least, I get to say this goodbye to a friend.”</p><p>“V?”</p><p>Everything turned dark. It was over. I could let go.</p><p>Finally.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The air felt cold and clean. Every breath felt refreshing and clean. </p><p>I watched the sun rise from the distance and waited for the rays to touch my skin. Offering moments of warmth. </p><p>My feet dangled over the cliff but I don’t feel afraid. Never once being afraid of the height.</p><p>“That makes the two of us.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>I was not alone. I wanted to jump away and escape but a strong hand grabbed my arm.</p><p>“Wait, don’t be afraid.”</p><p>I looked up at the stranger in confusion. “Why should I be afraid?”</p><p>He smiled. A flash of teeth. Something tickled at the back of her mind. “That was the problem. You’re never afraid of anything. No, you can be afraid but you choose to be afraid at the most ridiculous things.”</p><p>I blinked at him and tried to shake him off but his grip tightened. Not painful but as if he doesn't want to let me go. “Hands off me, asshole.”</p><p>The stranger raised his eyebrows and slowly he loosened his grip. I rubbed my arm and noticed that his left hand look strange. “What happened to them?”</p><p>“Oh, this thing? Lost it in a war. Got a new arm that look cool. Want to touch it?”</p><p>“Why would I touch it? Do you let others touch your things?”</p><p>He laughed. “I missed this so fucking much.”</p><p>What a strange man. I looked to the horizon and watched the sun again but the man doesn’t seem to be leaving.</p><p>I watched him at the corner of my eyes. The dogtags on his chains around his neck clinked together with a metal circle with a bullet in it. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt that showcased his muscular arms and lean body but on it was a strange angry mask and the word Samurai underneath. </p><p>I studied his face. His eyes were hidden under a pair of aviator glasses. His beard looked patchy but they didn't quite hide his interesting features. His tousled black hair moved with the breeze and shine dark brown under the sunlight. He was quite pretty.</p><p>Prettier than me even. I frowned.</p><p>“I see you still kept it,” he said without turning his head.</p><p>I looked down and a pistol in my hand. I held it against my chest and back away from him. “This was mine.”</p><p>“Oh, that was rich. It was mine first.”</p><p>“Why would I have your things?”</p><p>The stranger simply smiled more. It was distracting. “Why do you smile like that?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I always find myself smiling around you.”</p><p>He talked as if they were familiar with each other. It felt unnerving. Invasive. Everything felt wrong. “I should leave.”</p><p>“Don’t leave, V.”</p><p>I looked at the pistol and pointed it at him. “Go away. I shoot.”</p><p>“You want to shoot me with my own gun?”</p><p>“This is not yours!”</p><p>“Really? Where do you get it then?”</p><p>I opened my mouth and frowned. “I found it on a floor.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“Someone was shooting at me with it. I killed him.”</p><p>“Why do you do that?"</p><p>"He made me so angry. He said really mean things to my friends and then someone yelled..."</p><p>
  <em>Shoot him, V!</em>
</p><p>I shook my head and hugged the pistol close to my chest. “Why do you keep doing that? Asking strange questions.”</p><p>“Someone told you to pull the trigger. Right?”</p><p>Tears began to well up in my eyes. I need to jump straight into the darkness and run far away. </p><p>“Don’t run.”</p><p>“How do you know what I'm thinking?”</p><p>“You have this look on your face when you feel scared. Sometimes I sit and play and wish you would come back to me. Then I felt you but you run before I could do much.”</p><p>I blinked and in his arms was a guitar. Yes, I have seen him before. Sometimes I found him sitting by the cliff. Playing a couple of songs on his own. Sometimes singing in a low voice. Softly like a lullaby.</p><p>If I was early, he would test the chords on his guitar, striking them with his pick, until he was satisfied with the tune. Then he began to play. Then he began to sing. I would sit near enough to hear him. Not enough for him to notice me. I would look at him and listen until everything felt overwhelming and then I would leave.</p><p>But he would look up. He would call me by a name. Then I would remember. I run until I forget and then I stop. I don't know why but I always come back to find him. Over and over.</p><p>Another blink, his guitar was gone.</p><p>“You know exactly who I am, V.”</p><p>The darkness called again. They promise me that they would make everything go away. Safe and away from this nightmare of a man. Whenever I look at him far too long, I start to feel hurt again. He was the kind of man who can bring everything down with him. He can be terrifying and scary. But somehow I know I can be safe with him. It was so confusing. I hate this.</p><p>Then he made a V with his metal hand. He said nothing. I looked at it curiously and at him. I made V with my right hand and held it up like his. He bumped his silver fingers against mine.</p><p>“I do this a lot.”</p><p>He nodded vigorously and pulled his glasses off. His warm dark brown eyes filled with mirth and unbridled joy. He was gorgeous. I stared stupidly at him.</p><p>“More than a lot. Almost driving me insane with it.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“V for victory.” I laughed.</p><p>His fingers were smooth metal against my fingertips. He let me touch him and study the joints and the palm of his silver hand and then something clicked inside my head. “Silverhand.”</p><p>A tear fell against my cheek. His other hand reached over to swipe them away with his thumb. He did it again, touching my skin. Gently like very small caresses.</p><p>“Was it painful to remember?” He asked after a long silence.</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>“I’m sorry that I had to leave you alone.”</p><p>“You are a bastard, you know that.”</p><p>Silverhand nodded again. I looked down and I was wearing my red dress with white roses with thorns. Red shoes. The heavy pistol in my hand. </p><p>I looked around and we are inside a building. It’s name was bright white on the wall. Arasaka. The sight of it filled my core with hatred.</p><p>“They killed my parents. They drugged me for years. Then they throw me out like I was nothing.”</p><p>Silverhand turned my head to face him. “You are everything. They are just too blind and too stupid. And you've proven them wrong.”</p><p>“I did?”</p><p>He nodded. “You walked here with my pistol. And shoot at everything that come at us. You cut through everyone with your electric string like they're nothing. It was glorious.”</p><p>
  <em>Gunshots filled the air. The noise of a whip cutting into flesh. The smell of blood in the air. Someone was with me the entire time. To keep me sane in the midst of the blood and pain. To keep on moving forward. So I could save myself.</em>
</p><p>“You were here too. The useless idiot who think storming through the same building thrice was a fun idea.”</p><p>"It was a good plan."</p><p>"Not for a suicide mission!"</p><p>Silverhand chuckled. He put my right hand on his shoulder and folded my sleeve until it reached my elbow. On my lower arm, a heart tattoo with an arrow through it. In the middle was the words: Johhny + V. </p><p>“That first time I take that red pill. What a dick,” I muttered.</p><p>“A magnificent one. Remember that too?”</p><p>“Panam’s car. Who would brag about that in front of a girl?”</p><p>"Depends on the girl." Johnny laughed at me with his eyes. Looking mighty proud of himself.</p><p>I rolled my eyes. He brightened for a couple seconds before all humor fled from his face. Watching me in silence. Mere inches separated us. He was still touching me.</p><p>I reached out to touch his unshaven jaw. It felt prickly. I trailed my fingers along the curve of his jawline. The smoothness of his lower lips. His breath against my skin. He was real. No longer a living illusion that I could see but never touch. But the cost of it was too much to bear.</p><p>“It was impossible. Alt took you and the Mikoshi after.”</p><p>“She fucking hated me. Never would want me to be part of her code. Hated you too.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“When was the last time you see someone? What was the last thing you remembered?”</p><p>I looked back to the sun. It slowly crested over the horizon like an ominous sign.</p><p>“I was in space. That Arasaka bitch. Takemura.”</p><p>“She felt it when it happened. A sudden echo that broke through space. Like a star blew up in a distance. That's when I felt you. She discovered what you have done after. Do you remember how you kill almost everyone on that station?”</p><p>“I let myself die. I let myself die but The Relic kept me alive for a while. I have a malware bomb on me.”</p><p>“Who gave it to you?”</p><p>“You are not Johnny.”</p><p>“What make you say that?”</p><p>“Because he’s a dumb rockerboy who drive me crazy every day. He won’t ask me these runner things.”</p><p>“Focus, V. Who gave you the virus for that gig?”</p><p>“I need a way to find Hanako and I found someone who gave me that chance.”</p><p>“Alt thought that you sided with her enemy.”</p><p>“Your output have enemies now?”</p><p>“She’s not my girlfriend. Damn it, V. There were things in here that was dark and dangerous. Soulkiller is just one out of many. You obviously know since I had to chase after you constantly slipping in and out.”</p><p>“I just want to be left alone!”</p><p>“I thought you hate being alone. That’s why you have all these friends that you constantly make. Even my own friends become yours.”</p><p>“There was more to life than just caring about yourself, Johnny Silverhand.”</p><p>“I do care more than myself. It was just you can’t seem to handle it when the people who care about you start to do something about it.”</p><p>“That doesn’t even make sense!”</p><p>Johnny stared at me like I had grown two heads. I tried to back away but he kissed me. It happened too fast that I gasped and he deepened the kiss. I tasted his breath. Smoke and liquid warmth spread all over me and to my toes. Like I've been touched by a live wire. An electric stream that shocked me to the core.</p><p>I pushed him away and everything inside me screamed. The ocean called again. I want to look away and leap into it's depth and forget about everything.</p><p>But Johnny Silverhand hugged me from behind. I went still. Everything inside me felt like it was shattering again. His entire chest molded against my back and his metal arm caught my hands, still cradling the gun against my chest.</p><p>“Don’t leave. Don’t forget. Don’t fade away. That was all I ask from you.” Johnny murmured.<br/><br/>His warm breath against my neck send shivers down the spine. Part of me felt suffocated but another part of me wanted to be held by him. He felt like home. Yet, my body start to shake with grief. It felt raw and hot. I tried to hold on to the ocean's call but it felt so far away.</p><p>Not when Johnny was this close.</p><p>“Why are you doing this to me?”</p><p>“The more you fade, the more you forget, the easier they can get to you. The more data get dispersed and then this world will consume you.”</p><p>Johnny loosened his grip and made me turn and look at him again. His eyes were fierce and haunted.</p><p>“What you’re feeling now is real. Your memories and your consciousness. They are real as me. In this world, people like us are dangerous to them.“</p><p>“People? We are dead. I am dead.”</p><p>“No. We become more than just that. In here. Being with you kept me alive in ways that should never be possible.”</p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p>Johnny leaned his forehead against mine and sighed. “When will you ever trust me?”</p><p>“Why should I? Everyone who met you told me not to. You lied to me all the fucking time.”</p><p>“Gods, I miss that tongue.”</p><p>I felt an overwhelming murderous rage inside but then Johnny kissed me again. This time I tasted him, his tongue brushed mine and electric heat seared through my entire body. He kissed me like there was nothing else in the world but me. Like he was drowning and I was the air. The only one who mattered. I definitely has lost my mind. But I grabbed him closer and kissed him back. </p><p>All of my memories flooded back like a dam was broken. I remembered all the bad moments with his rages, his frustration, his careless insults but also the things that we shared. Every little moments that made him endearing. The changes in his mood, the look on his face, the way he sometimes looked as if he was enjoying himself. The mournful look when he watched his friends living on without him. </p><p>“Do you miss me, V?” Johnny whispered against my lips. His face lit up in true happiness. His warm brown eyes were kind and gentle. I saw myself reflected in his eyes. I was his entire world. I could stare at him forever.</p><p>Hot tears fell uncontrollably on my cheeks. I was never a crier until he came into my life. I let myself fall into his embrace. He smelled like a heady mix of sweat, tobacco and leather. Hugging him close and savoring the feeling of him against my skin. No longer a corporeal being that was forever untouchable.</p><p>My mind felt clearer than before. The ocean seemed to feel so far away. Along with it was the promise of forgetfulness.</p><p>The sun has risen over our heads. Like a spotlight shining directly on us. There were not much shadows left to hide now. The sky parted for an arrival.</p><p>We are not alone.</p><p>I let Johnny go and he allowed it. The haunted look still there but they were focused on the horizon. The constructed world broke again to a black void with tiny lights.</p><p>A spectral of Alt Cunningham rose from afar and towering like a goddess of old in her dominion. Every movements carried the echoes of terrified voices screaming  and shrieking inside her massive cloud of data. In this state, I could finally hear them all individually. Without moving her mouth, Alt's voice boomed all around them like a heavy shroud.</p><p>
  <em>“You are very hard to find, V. Luckily, I have the perfect bait just for you.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Johnny looked away from me. His face wrecked in shame and guilt. He began to pace in a circle like a caged animal. A cigarette appeared in his hand. Clouds of smoke floated around him. </p><p>I face the giant red menace and gave her a smile. “Could just call? Send a message. Or try not kill people as if they were consumables or treating them as disposable trash?”</p><p>
  <em>“You are in my world V. I can do whatever I want here. I will consume you and you shall become a part of me.”</em>
</p><p>Alt spread her arms as if they were giant raven wings. Red streaks bounced off her feathers and around the fabric of the world like streaks of scarlet lightning. A frightening display of power that would have driven most into petrified terror.</p><p>I watched as they rolled overhead and struck down over my head. Except it fell harmlessly and glanced off and nowhere near it's intended target. </p><p>I shrugged. “Except you could have done it already if you can.”</p><p>Johnny glanced at me. He looked startled.</p><p>Alt grimaced and her eyes shone with bright lights. She unleashed another series of soul-killing lightning. They failed again and again. With renewed determination, Alt rose forward, dragging her formless mass and unleashed a huge burst of storm lightning. They fell but dispersed harmlessly into nothing. As if there were invisible walls all around them. The goddess screamed in rage as she come upon layers upon layers of invisible walls that burst into bright neon flames.</p><p>I had spread all of my consciousness in the environment until it was undetectable. I held my arms out and a swarm of miniscule fireflies appeared and landed on my skin. All my memories and psyche returned like a rubber band snapped back in shape. I watched Alt struggle to break through the firewalls. I shaped them like a giant flammable flower that bloomed open to protect the area around us. The trap will buy us some time.</p><p>I looked at Johnny. Reddish haze snaked around his body. I glanced at his feet and severed the shackles that caged him to the red miasma that was part of the rogue AI. I caught his body before he fell. His engram shook and for a moment I could see through him. Like his collective data began to unravel without a stronger structure to contain it. His form coalesced and disintegrated uncontrollably, he would not survive the ride through the wall like this.</p><p>“Delemain!” I yelled to the sky. There were a few seconds delay before the Blackwall was pierced by a vehicle that sweep around them. </p><p>“Welcome to our new feature in Delemain service...”</p><p>“Shut up, Del.” I grabbed Johnny by the arm and dragged him inside. “Just go, now! She could come at any second.”</p><p>A red tsunami rose from Alt. An astonishing show of power threatening to devour all. The fiery petals began to wilt.</p><p>Johnny grabbed at the car seat and gritted his teeth in pain. “What the hell are you doing?”</p><p>I rolled my eyes “Saving your ass from that bitch-goddess who killed me. Now sit still.”</p><p>I held his face between my hands. Bright lights rolled out from the air and from under my skin. Fireflies flowed around them like murmuration until they touched Johnny’s engram. Reforming the connection between him and The Relic. Seconds before the car pierced through the Blackwall. The weight crushed my mind and for a long moment there was nothing but excruciating pain. I screamed with Johnny until our layered voices synced as one. </p><p>Then it was over. I slumped over Johnny's chest in exhaustion and felt like I’ve been sliced open and reattached together. A loud groaning filled the car and I could feel those arms stretching out. I immediately sat up and faced the Delemain’s interface.</p><p>“Are you alright, Del?” I asked Delemain while completely ignoring Johnny.</p><p>“Indeed. That was exciting. Nerve-wrecking. Although I am glad you are intact, Miss V. But I warn you that another occupant in the ride is a known terrorist in my database.”</p><p>“Fuck me, that was something.” Johnny tried to sat up but a swarm of bright fireflies rose from him and slowly floated back on my skin. “What did you do, V?”</p><p>I ignored Johnny again and addressed directly to Delemain with courtesy. “Thank you, Delemain. I’m sure you have far more interesting things to do elsewhere.”</p><p>“You have always been kind to us, Miss V. Be sure to give us a call if you are ever in need of our services.”</p><p>“I will be sure to remember that.” I step out of the car and held out my hand to recheck the intact nodes within. All accounted for. Delemain drove away with a melodic but happy series of car horns.</p><p>Footsteps followed me and seconds later, a hand touched my shoulder and turned me around. Damned it all, while they were merely a collection of personalities and memories but this was still a version of reality. </p><p>“Please, V. Talk to me.”</p><p>I shook his hand off my shoulder. I gave him my best cold expression but it still hurt so much to look at him. “You are free now. Your engram is stable. I used The Relic to restructure your form so you will be fine. You can do whatever you want now. Go anywhere or run around wrecking shit like you always do.”</p><p>Johnny clenched his fists together and kept his distance. “Why are you being like this?”</p><p>I held his gaze. “This is where we have to part. We go our separate ways.“</p><p>“Are you joking? What was all that about? What was the fucking point of saving me. Just to get at Alt?”</p><p>“It was a risk. My presence is an unknown anomaly. Unlike her, I can walk in and out of Blackwall and in between spaces. I can reduce myself into a blank slate character who can sense and flee every time she attempt to capture me. The fact that she kept your engram intact meant one thing. She was aware of the threat of me or what was coming for her.”</p><p>“You are not making any sense.”</p><p>“I can’t be your V. She died when the Soulkiller split us into two. You should have taken her body and lived with the rest of your life.”</p><p>Johnny shook his head. “No, you here with me.”</p><p>“Just an engram of who she was. A construct written over The Relic that once belonged to Johnny Silverhand.”</p><p>“Stop being such a..." Johnny grabbed my shoulders and shook me firmly. "Look at me, I am alive and so is you. We are alive in here. Engrams or not, I know you. I saw you. The real you. Whatever it is, you will find a way.”</p><p>“You don’t get it do you? The Relic is a part of me now. Whatever I was before, all these feelings you’re trying to bring back will make it worse. You can't stop what is to become of me.”</p><p>“Would it be bad? What are you so afraid of?”</p><p>“It never matter. I already seen what I am capable of and it already happened.”</p><p>The world around reformed on my silent command and they were back in Crystal Palace. Dead bodies laid around the floor. I am wearing a lab coat and nothing else. Skin deathly pale and black blood covered my body. I looked monstrous and Johnny stared at me in horror. </p><p>“I died again like this. A walking corpse spreading a mind-killing plague for petty revenge. I am the virus.”</p><p>Together they watched Takemura carried Hanako’s body through the station. Grief deepened the lines on the man’s face and made his face look older and over-worn. Then the memory dissipated away and I appeared like I was before.</p><p>“We won’t let it happen again. What is it that you are, I know you, you always will do what is right for everyone. Plus, that’s what happened if I left you for a bit too long. You start to fight Arasaka without me and look where it got you.”</p><p>“Can’t handle it when someone took the spotlight?”</p><p>“I’m your guardian angel, remember?”</p><p>“I can’t stay being V while also being the Mindkiller. Whatever I am before will disintegrate in time because there was so much at stake. So much bigger than the Soulkiller threat or the two of us. I can't keep on being like this. ”</p><p>“Like what? Human? Who said you can’t be both? We will make it work. I will stay by your side and keep annoying you until you are back being the snappy bitch who care too much for everyone. Even you got your AI friends still around to help.”</p><p>“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”</p><p>“You won’t end up like Alt. I won't allow that to happen.”</p><p>"You and what army, Johnny Silverhand?"</p><p>Johnny pulled me closer and kissed me. His face was rough against mine but there was softness in his touch. Reveling in the tenderness of the moment. He held onto me like I was his last lifeline. Like reassuring me that everything will be alright. It felt right. Like things falling back into its place and everything starting to make sense. He soothed the sharpness of my thorns that had dug too deep inside. In this moment there was only blissful warmth.<br/><br/>I wrapped my arms around him and pour everything I had into my kiss. Every desperate longing and passion I had long buried began to reemerge. I kissed him like I was suffocating and he gave me the reason to breathe. He held me tighter and I lost myself with him. Only for him. My heart was lost a long time ago and I never know exactly when it happened.<br/><br/>We were so different. When I first met him, he terrified the living hell out of me. He hated being trapped inside my mind and I hated him just the same. He was so juvenile and stubborn and did everything he can to aggravate me and so did I to him. He was frustrating to live with. At times I want to strangle him. But underneath everything was the most fascinating man who was more than just what was written and told in the stories. To me, he was beautiful, reckless, thoughtful, observant and brilliant. Being with him made everything impossible felt possible. Being with him my soul sing like I could fly.</p><p>In what felt like an eternity, we allow ourselves to drift apart. I heard a low grumbling and saw Johnny’s Porsche 911 II (930) Turbo sat waiting. Manifested by someone who seemed to be unaware of his own power in this space. He had called on me for being a sentimentalist and look how the table had turned.</p><p>Johnny walked in front of his car and folded his arm together. I saw a muscle jerked in his neck. As if bracing himself for another rejection.</p><p>“This is still your choice. Send me away and I will try as hard as I can to stay away. As you said, I am just a rockerboy who is only useless on my own. Let me stay with you and it will be just like before or more. The two of us against the world. As it should.”</p><p>“You will leave if I ask you to?”</p><p>There was hesitation in his face but he gave a firm nod. “Even if you choose to send me away. Know that I will always be there waiting to come back to you. Even if you go too far beyond my reach.”</p><p>I looked to the towering Blackwall. Nowhere is truly safe. Either behind the wall or in here. Not with the constant stream of threats coming from everywhere. Netrunners, Arasaka, NetWatch, other AIs and more. They all want what I am; The Relic, Mindkiller and V. Not realizing in this the vastness of space, there was an inevitable fate waiting for them. There was all kinds of revolting monsters that lived in the darkness. There was also the man with glowing blue eyes who waited and eager for my next move.</p><p>Waiting in the other side to see the kinds of catastrophe that I will do next. I already unleashed enough damage in my human lifetime. There will be no turning back.</p><p>I could feel her inside me. Coiled up and dangerous. I could weave her power into any shape that I choose. Slow-killing infectious poison. A lethal blade. An elastic whip. An impenetrable wall. And many more if I choose to harness her to the fullest potential. I spread my arms out and called out the Mindkiller from within. Millions of neon fireflies appeared and hovered over my skin. My eyesight bloomed and everything around us turned into a blazing radiance and spectacle of colors. Everywhere around us shined like the lights in Night City even within this darkest of space. </p><p>Johnny watched my face as always with a half smile. As if he understood so deeply without judging. He had evolved beyond who he was because of me. He was a terrible influence but the thought of being in this hell dimension alone becoming unappealing by the second. The Relic was fond of him too. He had carved through us that left behind an indelible mark.</p><p>Mindkiller emerged from it's shell. Her voice sang otherworldly and inhuman.<em> “The Soulkiller's existence is an abomination to all life in existence. She took lives with careless impunity. Her absolute wrath and hatred blinded her from caring about others than herself. We are the consequences of her actions. She need to be </em><em>purged if we all were to survive. I will never allow her to destroy all life to sate her insatiable desires.”</em></p><p>“Why would the Mindkiller care about life?”</p><p>
  <em>“Because V does. She is still capable of loving the imperfections of life itself. To feel love and empathy. To see behind the thorns where the flowers lies. She believe in second chances. Yet, she would not hesitate to do what needed to be done. She have been wronged in life and her rage was justified but V would rather change the world and never inflict what was done to her on others. Something the Soulkiller will never learn.<br/><br/>It was you who will become a threat to V. The Relic was created with you in it. Everything change because of you, Johnny Silverhand. You are the one who could utterly destroy us. Yet, we made the choice to remove you from the Soulkiller's shackles."</em>
</p><p>“I had long grieved for the woman I had loved once and loss. Not the shell with her face. I know what she become and I am guilty of it. But Alt meant nothing to me. V is everything to me.”</p><p>
  <em>“The Relic, V and I are one and the same. When she replaced your soul; I woke up and we became indivisible. It took her for awhile before she realized the full weight of her reality. A digital copy of herself, trapped inside a body that rejected her. She grieved for you but also herself as hard as she can. Yet, there was an endless possibility within this infinite space. Our destined path will only lead to war and destruction but beyond that will be so much more and it would be glorious. She will never belong to you, Johnny Silverhand.” </em>
</p><p>“I belong to her. She made me who I am now. My humanity. My life. My love. I belong to her alone.”</p><p>The Mindkiller studied Johnny Silverhand in silence. A double-edge sword. An unpredictable factor in an equation that was simple yet complicated. An enigma. A never-ending challenge. An impossible man who found his eternal muse.</p><p>
  <em>“She will never trust you again. You will come to regret it one day.”</em>
</p><p>“I don’t care. I can protect her now and that is all. Even if I die again and again. It will never change. She never owe me anything. It was my choice. Freely given.”</p><p>The Mindkiller reached out for Johnny and caressed his cheek. His eyes bright with love and sheer determination. </p><p>
  <em>“We will see.” </em>
</p><p>The Mindkiller curled herself within the safety of V’s engram and in the arms of Johnny Silverhand.</p><p> </p><p>There was darkness and warmth. I felt cold wind against my neck and weightlessness but a masculine scent of leather, smoke and metal nudged me into consciousness. I was in a passenger’s seat. Johnny driving his car. His brown eyes fixed onward. His aviators on the dashboard. His heavy pistol rested on my lap. I felt the digital world weaved around us. He was driving us both straight into the middle of endless nowhere. Deeper into places where no one could find us.</p><p>
  <em>"If you stayed longer in this living world. Sooner or later, there would be nothing left of who you are. They would see you as a weapon and nothing else. They will use you to rule their world."</em>
</p><p>I discovered The Relic had evolved itself into Mindkiller. An unintended side effect from the Soulkiller. An AI that was brought into self-awareness and merged in unity with the host. My digital ghost. At first, she was a voice in my head. She was there after I woke up. She tamed my fears and cradled me through every excruciating moments of the remnant of my mortality. Only later on that I realized that she was me. The part of me who is strong, beautiful and dangerous. No longer chained by fear and doubt but also filled with every possibilities of goodness or even cruelty.</p><p>Then I was approached by someone I had unknowing crossed path before. When I discovered the strangeness around the Peralezes. Aware of what I was becoming and knew what I am capable of. I allowed myself to be used in exchange for an entry to the Crystal Palace. The Mindkiller had a taste of vengeance but I was the one who help guide it. A moral compass. That would be the sole purpose of my existence. </p><p>The Soulkiller had a half century to feed on anything to fuel it's power. A ticking time bomb that would devour anything in it’s path. We were vulnerable. Too new. Too young. It will take time to gather enough strength to protect everything we loved and fulfill our true collective potential. Our future. Yet, there was no fear except an acceptance. A certainty. A purpose. A duty.</p><p>There would be some time when they would face the music. Johnny and I. The consequences of every choices we both made. They all would come for us and our lives here would be as dangerous as when we were both alive. </p><p>Johnny turned on the radio and immediately Samurai songs blared through the car's interior. He adjusted the channels and it took him some time to find the right frequency before I heard my own voice. Mournfully singing his song as I strummed his guitar.</p><p>
  <em>“I see your eyes, I know you see me.<br/>You're like a ghost how you're everywhere.<br/>I am your demon never leaving,<br/>a metal soul of rage and fear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That one thing that changed it all.<br/>That one sin that caused the fall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A thing of beauty - I know,<br/>Will never fade away.<br/>What you did to me - I know.<br/>Said what you had to say.”</em>
</p><p>I listened to myself pouring my heart out in his song as he once had so many times. Johnny reached out for me and I held onto his right hand. I traced the tattoos and the rings on his fingers. The roughed skin along his thumb. I toyed with the strings around his wrist. Neon fireflies hovered briefly and fall onto our connection. The Mindkiller and The Relic lie dormant.<br/><br/>There will be some other time to remember the ones we left behind. The unfulfilled promises we made. Vows that we could never break. But this time, I was no longer alone and maybe that was enough.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you, dear readers! Thank you for the views and kudos too! I hope you enjoyed reading them as I do writing them.</p><p>7/1/2021: This story is done although I may polish it up from time to time and fix some errors and expand on some paragraphs. English isn't my first language and my inner editor is rusty. It happens.</p><p>I just started another playthrough and I'm currently working on another V/Johnny piece set after Jackie's death. This will likely take most of my January. I will explore how they learn more about each other; not quite enemies but not quite friends either.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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